The Subject Nobody Wants To Talk About

They say we live in the "age of enlightenment".  A time when everyone wants to think
of themselves as being able to address any subject with openness and ease.
We talk about everything, even in mixed company these days.  Not only do we discuss politics, religion,
finances, and the weather but we go so far as to talk about our most embarrassing moments,
bodily functions, and even our sex life. The one thing, however, that I have found that many people
fail to want to discuss is death.  If you don't believe me, try asking someone…." Dave,
have you thought about dying lately?"  I guarantee you that people will steer clear
of you and you will begin to feel ostracized by your peers if you
continue this line of conversation for very long.

One day I decided to approach my husband, Michael, on this subject.  He's a pretty open guy,
willing to talk about anything if you keep it to 30 seconds or less. Actually, he did pretty good,
even going so far as to discuss life insurance and burial costs.

Being the organized man that he is, Mike informed me that he does have good life insurance
and it even pays a lot more for accidental death. Now, I ask you, aren't most deaths accidental?
Most people don't die on purpose. So, doesn't this mean that insurance should
always pay more?  He didn't seem to appreciate my humor so I went on to my next question.
I asked him about my life insurance policy. He quickly explained that my policy was only a
very small one so he had just planned to call Steve.

Steve, who lives next door, is a coal miner but he also has several other occupations on the side.
One of which is taxidermy. Well, I knew immediately what was coming next.
Thus, the reason for this story. I am writing this story and sending it out to all of you,
my friends, to ask you to please attend my funeral if I happen to die before my husband.
You need to be there for me to check inside the casket to be sure that my body
is really there and not up on the family room wall next to Bambi's father.
I know there must be some kind of law against this sort of thing but
you can never be too careful. I saw Steve leave his house one day
with a bear sitting next to him in his truck and we do live in West Virginia.

Now you understand why talking about death is so very important.  You never know what might happen
if you don't make your own arrangements ahead of time. Which proves Mom was right….
"if you want anything done right, do it yourself!"

Remember….I'm counting on you to be at my funeral. Keep an eye out for Steve too,
you can't mistake him, he's a handsome middle-aged guy who could double
for "Walker, Texas Ranger"  and there's usually a stuffed animal around somewhere…

(NOTE) By the way, for those of you who don't know us too well,
this is a joke.
Mike wouldn't really do that…….would he?

In all seriousness, I have thought a lot about death
and I have made my arrangements and
my reservations.  Have you?  If not, go to this site
and take care of it now:

By Pamela R. Blaine
c September 18, 2000

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